Get out of my head

I don’t mean to be a burden to you. And I don’t mean to add to all the grief you already have in your life. I’m sorry I keep losing control of my emotions when we talk. Where do I go from here? You’d think, with at least 200 miles between us, it would be easy enough to just let it go. But you’re the only thing I would quite honestly kill to have in my life. I’m sick of feeling like this. I’m sick of dragging it up. I’m so fed up of being hurt and then hurting you. Do I just leave you behind altogether? I’d have to leave behind so many of our friends who know you just as well as I do. Do I stay as close to you as I am now, and hope I forget about what was? But what about the tension? I’ve never known you as a friend. There would be so many unspoken things between us, which couldn’t be voiced nor acted upon. I cannot keep you at arms length as that would be the most painful option of all. I hate this. I hate the way it won’t go away. I cannot go on like this – constantly pulling the loose stitches out of an old wound, but it will not heal. What do I do?


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